If you want to feel great and have the best chance of achieving your dreams, you’ll want some guidance. I recommend what I call the Triangle of Influence: three people who each play a distinct role in helping you live the life you want to live.

Let’s look at each of the people in your Triangle of Influence:

• Therapist
  • Sees where you are today.
  • Addresses why you are you.
  • Gives you insights into how you got to where you are.
  • Gives you understanding so you can have less worry and anxiety about the person you are.
• Mentor
  • Sees where you are today. Learns where you want to be – what you want to achieve.
  • Has already accomplished what you want to accomplish.
  • Gives you first-person accounts of strategies they used to overcame the bottlenecks, hurdles, and pushback you’re currently dealing with.
  • Helps you make connections with others who have already accomplished what you want and with other resources you need to achieve your goal(s).
• Coach
  • Sees where you are today.
  • Helps you decide where you want to be and what you want to achieve.
  • Offers best practices and research-driven strategies to move you toward your goals.
  • Focuses on internal aspects (thoughts, ideas) and external aspects (actions, communication) of achieving your goals.

As you can see, each of these three people starts in the same place: where you are today. Then, each gives you a different set of valuable tools.

In a perfect world, you’d have all three members of this Triangle of Influence on your team. If that’s not possible, you’ll need to decide where you think you’ll get the most value and go find that person.

If you’re currently looking for a mentor and are still getting your goal into focus, I recommend holding off for a while until that goal is clear. Successful mentors like helping people who are already clear on what they want.

If you’re unclear, work with a coach before you search for a mentor.